2015/06/10

Do I Really Deserve It?

I have always disliked the word "deserve."  It's such an entitled term.  In reality, you don't deserve anything.  You are blessed with what you work for and with what God gives you.  So do you deserve that pay raise?  Do you deserve that night off?  Do you deserve to be treated like royalty?  NO!  You absolutely do not.  You do not deserve anything.

That being said, it has been brought to my attention that maybe my thoughts on the word "deserve" have been completely wrong.
  
A few weeks ago, I started dating this wonderful man.  He is the sweetest, most respectful person I have ever met in my entire life.  When we first started going out, my friends would text me and say,

"Ashlynn you deserve this.  I am so happy for you."

When they would say this, I would get really frustrated and upset because I felt that I didn't deserve anything.  I had tried my best so far in this life, and now I was being blessed.  And I told them that.  I said,

"Guys I don't deserve anything.  And I especially don't deserve him.  He is way too good for me." 

And then they would say,

"No you do.  You have been so patient your entire life.  You have dealt with the things that came.  Heavenly Father is raining this blessing down on you because you deserve it."

And that got me thinking: Have I been looking at this all wrong?  Do I really deserve the blessings Heavenly Father is raining down on me?

Now I'm not saying that I deserve all the the things Heavenly Father gives me.  I especially don't deserve this person that He has allowed me to start dating.  But I think my friends have a very valid point.  I have worked as hard as I can to do what I think Heavenly Father wants me to do.  And He led me to this point.  Now do I deserve to have this incredible person in my life?  I still don't think so...but I do think he is what Heavenly Father wants me to have.  And I am so grateful.

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